The Lunatic & The Swan: A grocery store ritual.

Growing up, my mom took me to McDonalds after every unpleasant doctor’s appointment. The promise of french fries and cheeseburgers calmed my pre-appointment nerves. Fast food was quite the treat in our household; Kix were considered junk food. The McDonalds parking lot was separated from the clinic parking lot only by a small grassless median. It was a fast and easy way for my mother to improve the mood of a child who had the usual dislike for medicines and needles.

Now I ride the bus alone to my doctor’s appointments. Occassionally I walk out the hospital doors in a cloud of mild sedation (nervous jitters are bad for medical imaging) and need a rest period before attempting the public transit system. So I cross the street and head straight through the doors of Whole Foods.

Up until yesterday, I usually passed my time wandering the aisles and using my iPhone to photograph compositions I discovered among the produce and wine bottles. But for the first time, an employee approached me yesterday. I was still dazed from the procedure performed less than an hour previous, so when she told me I needed permission from the customer service desk to take photos (“It’s company policy.”) I actually went up to customer service and asked for permission to take photos. Of course this doesn’t actually work for Joe Schmoes entertaining themselves with their cell phone cameras. And of course the general manager (actually gotten for me by a very helpful Customer Service employee) explained that to me. I gave my best semi-professional spiel, “I’m a freelance event coordinator, and I was thinking of posting a blog on using Whole Foods to self-cater an event…” (not untrue) and she did give me the URL for their press ready photos. But she did not give me permission to take my own.

So I spent the rest of my “appointment recovery period” eating free samples of pineapple and sausage and browsing their catering menu. And of course I ate some very tasty hazelnut gelato (served to me by a very friendly and attractive lesbian, with whom I shared a brief conversation about our mutual frustration over dietary restrictions imposed by health problems). I’m not sure if I am going to pretend to forget the photo rule during my next visit, if I do I will perhaps be more discreet (cell phone cameras are excellent for this). But in the meantime, I do have some lovely shots to share. Hey, no one told me I had to delete the photos I already took.